Mixed feelings...

Warning!!!
If you think that this is one of my "parparazzi" blogs, I strongly urge you to stop reading now. If you still continue reading, I hope you are in your best of moods...else it will be dragging you to a very deep dark hole.

Recently, I think I have grown moody these few days, maybe because I am reaching my own 24th birthday...In the recent years' birthdays, I started to look back what I have done for the past wonderful moments in my life and my plans for the future. This year, with no exception, I started to think back...recalled the 酸甜苦辣 that I went through. Best moments will be that I passed my driving at one shot and getting to know the colleagues in my company. They are real good to me and I love their company...Sad moments, I think all should know lar hor...so no need to elaborate liaoz...All this was the past...Next, the future...haha...always when I reached this stage, I will start to cry. I am nt a cry baby but thinking abt the future scares me now. I used to do long term planning for myself...My close friends will know that I have set my goal as a software engineer and yes, I have reached my goal now...but what lies ahead for me in the future???

Actually, I too have a plan for my future. Now that I have car and house, what I need is actually a female owner for them....The pathetic thing with my life so far is my love scoresheet is as good as none...I have been very naive throughout my whole 24 years of life. I always thought that if I made that extra effort for that gal, she will be touched by what I have done. Apparently, I have been watching too much dramas ler...Only in dramas then there is such kind of things. Guy loves girl although girl is sick or handicapped or blind...Well, I tell you...Reality bites and it really does...If ever you are wishing such kind of things to happen to you, give it up...Tues morning, I heard discussion on a radio station...will girls ever like guys shorter than them? The answer is No, which is nt surprising to hear...Given my own height, haha...no girl will ever like me unless she really stick stamps on her eyes...Why are people so shallow in thinking, sometimes I wonder...Call me lack of confidence for all u can...What makes me lack of confidence? It is this cruel society. Now actually, I am facing the prospect of growing old myself. Maybe, 安乐死 will be a good option for me.

As for my work future, all I can say is that everything looks glimmer and glimmer...sometimes, I really dunnoe where I stand in my company...Well, I cannot blame anyone but my ownself. Cannot prove my own ability and always limited by my handicapped...I refused to give in to such limitations but I do not have a choice...

For future parents, I am giving my opinion (purely my own opinion as a handicapped child)...If one day you ever found that your child might become a handicapped after born, pls do not bring them to this world. This is a cruel world and the sufferings will be immerse for your child. I myself gone through a lot...both parents and child need to be very mentally strong. I think I am hitting my limits...Very tired ler and no more strength to keep the fire burning...

It all started with a lift breakdown

Haha...I know seeing the title might give u all the wrong idea that I met some gal or what during a lift breakdown but u all are wrong...Here goes the REAL stoy...

This morning, my colleagues informed me through sms that the lift at our Dept's office has ceased to work....AGAIN...dunnoe how many times ler...Last time, I went back to office, it is undergoing maintenance work, so gotta climb my way up the 12 storeys to reach my office...Panting but quite shiok coz long time never do so rigorous exercise ler...But this time is different because I took my laptop home yesterday to do some work...Dun wanna to carry approx 2kg of stuff with me up the stairs...else really can "die"...hahaha...Upon knowing that the lift is under repair, I go up to HQ to continue my work from there...settle beside Mr Chong...muz say we have hell of a time there cracking jokes and driving Fiona crazy...below is a pic of us together...pls notice his hand... He m'sia Ah-beng...bo bian...Mr Chong, remember to tell ur honey abt the "yes?" thing...muahahaha

Shortly after I settled down at my "new" seat, the birthday gal for today arrives...as usual look a bit sian sian one, but very hostile to me and Mr Chong...Heng our 尺度很大...else we will give her special treatment...hahaha...Anyway, lucky for her, big big boss around...Dun tink he wanna hear her scream bah...hahaha...and also we scared kena throw out of HQ....here is a small pic of her doing work today...hehehe...enjoy while u can...once she complain then need to take out liaoz....

2 "Birthday" for myself in one day

As of now, I have already celebrated 2 "Birthday". Why I say that? Coz today, I just go to 2 birthday gatherings. One at Yishun over at Jeremy Lee's house. He invited a few of us to his house. We bought birthday cake and a CD for him as a gift. As it is a potluck session, we prepared food while he prepared the drinks and dessert. The below are what we have prepared...

June's Special : Chicken Wings

Grace's Special : Curry Chicken (Heard it is her first time trying, but trust me, it is super duper yummy)

My Mama's Special : Fried Bee Hoon (Her tuition pupils just come my house every year specially for this and her another special, Chicken Curry.)

Not in picture : Xinhui's fruits and Hui Xian's mooncakes. The session ended at around 5.30pm and we started to make our way to the next destination, En Hui's house.

Reach his house at around 6.15pm. The gathering is at a Function Hall at his condo. Really eye-opening wor...security is quite tight...Needed En Hui's help to open door to the lift lobby coz need occupant's help to open the door...We celebrated Hazel's birthday there but me and Erna joined in as we are both September babies...Din cut this cake the cake this time round but still consider a celebration bah...This contributes my 2nd "Birthday". Before the celebration, I wanna to saboed Hazel but I only 1 person, so very limited strength to get her. So after the celebration, I wanna try to saboed her again, so I joined forces with Alicia. We saboed Hazel...I do the chasing and Alicia will do the honours...After chasing quite sometime, we finally got our girl...but poor Alicia kena Hazel's fight-back and her top got dirty. Hahaha...Around 9.30, I retreated coz a little tired as I have been out since 1pm plus...

My new nickname...Mr Lonely...

This post has been removed due to its ineffectiveness....

蔡依林的舞娘专辑有一首歌叫Mr Q。我呢，上一个星期， 被我的好兄弟取了一个新的外号， Mr Lonely。

Here is the reason why...
Ever since my returning from client's place to station in the office, I have been having a hard time gathering ppl for lunch...Maybe go client's place for too long ler bah...no more 魅力了。 Last week asked my colleagues go China Square for lunch...my dept that is situated in another building is represented by me ONLY...Junyong brought 3 gals along with him...so how did my new nick come abt? As i am ALONE waiting downstair for them, i juz keep staring onto the ground and Junyong being his usual mischievous self made fun of me...saying i look like a lonely old man...

Well, actually, i indeed feel lonely...My good buddy Junyong is over at HQ office whereas i am stationed at another office...In my office, originally a very warm department, felt cold...I no longer feel the warmth that is there during the time when i joined my company. On paper, the department is growing...got a lot of ppl, but everyone seems to be engrossed with their own "gang" of people...Even ppl who used to have lunch with us already broken away from us. Although we went to the same place for lunch, no effort is taken to go there as a group. Seems like we are from different companies. Kinda sad that this is happening and felt angry that I cannot do anything to prevent it. Tried on a few occassions to grab them back but i guess they are too far away from us ler...i can only watch from afar...Actually, i am close to tears when writing this out...For the benefit of ppl who joined the company later, we used to go lunch with a big group of people...the feeling is so great coz u practically get to know everyone in the company. This lunch call thingy used to be done by an ex-colleague who handed me the responsibility before she left the company but I tink i have failed in this aspect...

Why is this happening?
1. Coz right now, we have 2 different offices? So everyone juz started to drift away coz the company is too big liaoz...Should this be happening?
2. Coz of me? Been away at the client's place for too long ler...so everyone juz stop going lunch together.
3. Coz Grace is no longer in the company? Personally, I feel Grace did a great job bonding us together. Without her, I might still be sitting in one corner of coffeeshop eating my lunch alone and wun get to know people like Hui Xian, Lieyung, Peter, Weiling, Mui Choo and lots more ppl.

Immue system breached by flu virus...

For the past week, my poor body is being attacked by the flu virus...feel very very tired...that is why no time to blog...Apologies to ppl who are expecting me to reveal the names in Mr Chong's blog...This blog will be a long coz I am trying to squeeze whatever happen in the past few days into here...

Starting from last Saturday (26/8/2006)...
Went to my 3rd KTV session...hopefully wun be the last...Same group of ppl as the 1st KTV session...3 gals 2 guys...This time is more special for me coz it is the first time i drove alone in my car to pick up one of the gals from AMK to the KTV place at woodlands...coz i happen to be at AMK at that time...Normally, i dun get to drive alone, especially going to pick up a gal...Reached at the KTV a little late, so we sang from 3 to 7pm...after that, went to have our dinner...we had pizza and while eating, we chatted...got a few moments of "coldness" but on the whole, dinner is good. Dinner ended at 9.30pm where we all headed home...

Sunday (27/8/2006)...
Started to feel sick + no voice...

Monday (28/8/2006)...
Felt very sick but still go to work coz need to do a release to client...Released at the end of day but questioned by client "What kind of build master are you?" Very upset by this and really spoils my day...

Tuesday (29/8/2006)...
Morning wake up with giddiness...went to see doc and got a mc to rest for the day...Diagnosis : Throat infection...Practically lying on my bed...switching channels of my cable tv and sleeping...

Wednesday (30/8/2006)
No big happening but still sick...went home early to rest...

Thursday (31/8/2006)
Merdeka to M'sia...Still sick...Got an issue with mon's release...but in the end turns up is that IDIOTIC client's sotongness...screwed up and barking at us for nuting...At that pt, i just snapped...never felt so angry in my whole 23 yrs of life...a surge of blood juz rush to my head...in the end, went downstairs to grasp for fresh air to cool down...went home early to rest again...

Friday (1/9/2006)
Starting to feel better...at last...

Today (2/9/2006)
Nuting to do...so juz Maple lor...a bit sian...

Hmmmm...for those waiting for me to reveal the names...I tink i no need to say le bah...Quite clear in Mr Chong's blog ler...(Clue : OCBC, 1 guy, 1 gal) Cannot guess who??? Then too bad...hahaha...