Mixed feelings...
Warning!!!
If you think that this is one of my "parparazzi" blogs, I strongly urge you to stop reading now. If you still continue reading, I hope you are in your best of moods...else it will be dragging you to a very deep dark hole.
Recently, I think I have grown moody these few days, maybe because I am reaching my own 24th birthday...In the recent years' birthdays, I started to look back what I have done for the past wonderful moments in my life and my plans for the future. This year, with no exception, I started to think back...recalled the 酸甜苦辣 that I went through. Best moments will be that I passed my driving at one shot and getting to know the colleagues in my company. They are real good to me and I love their company...Sad moments, I think all should know lar hor...so no need to elaborate liaoz...All this was the past...Next, the future...haha...always when I reached this stage, I will start to cry. I am nt a cry baby but thinking abt the future scares me now. I used to do long term planning for myself...My close friends will know that I have set my goal as a software engineer and yes, I have reached my goal now...but what lies ahead for me in the future???
Actually, I too have a plan for my future. Now that I have car and house, what I need is actually a female owner for them....The pathetic thing with my life so far is my love scoresheet is as good as none...I have been very naive throughout my whole 24 years of life. I always thought that if I made that extra effort for that gal, she will be touched by what I have done. Apparently, I have been watching too much dramas ler...Only in dramas then there is such kind of things. Guy loves girl although girl is sick or handicapped or blind...Well, I tell you...Reality bites and it really does...If ever you are wishing such kind of things to happen to you, give it up...Tues morning, I heard discussion on a radio station...will girls ever like guys shorter than them? The answer is No, which is nt surprising to hear...Given my own height, haha...no girl will ever like me unless she really stick stamps on her eyes...Why are people so shallow in thinking, sometimes I wonder...Call me lack of confidence for all u can...What makes me lack of confidence? It is this cruel society. Now actually, I am facing the prospect of growing old myself. Maybe, 安乐死 will be a good option for me.
As for my work future, all I can say is that everything looks glimmer and glimmer...sometimes, I really dunnoe where I stand in my company...Well, I cannot blame anyone but my ownself. Cannot prove my own ability and always limited by my handicapped...I refused to give in to such limitations but I do not have a choice...
For future parents, I am giving my opinion (purely my own opinion as a handicapped child)...If one day you ever found that your child might become a handicapped after born, pls do not bring them to this world. This is a cruel world and the sufferings will be immerse for your child. I myself gone through a lot...both parents and child need to be very mentally strong. I think I am hitting my limits...Very tired ler and no more strength to keep the fire burning...
If you think that this is one of my "parparazzi" blogs, I strongly urge you to stop reading now. If you still continue reading, I hope you are in your best of moods...else it will be dragging you to a very deep dark hole.
Recently, I think I have grown moody these few days, maybe because I am reaching my own 24th birthday...In the recent years' birthdays, I started to look back what I have done for the past wonderful moments in my life and my plans for the future. This year, with no exception, I started to think back...recalled the 酸甜苦辣 that I went through. Best moments will be that I passed my driving at one shot and getting to know the colleagues in my company. They are real good to me and I love their company...Sad moments, I think all should know lar hor...so no need to elaborate liaoz...All this was the past...Next, the future...haha...always when I reached this stage, I will start to cry. I am nt a cry baby but thinking abt the future scares me now. I used to do long term planning for myself...My close friends will know that I have set my goal as a software engineer and yes, I have reached my goal now...but what lies ahead for me in the future???
Actually, I too have a plan for my future. Now that I have car and house, what I need is actually a female owner for them....The pathetic thing with my life so far is my love scoresheet is as good as none...I have been very naive throughout my whole 24 years of life. I always thought that if I made that extra effort for that gal, she will be touched by what I have done. Apparently, I have been watching too much dramas ler...Only in dramas then there is such kind of things. Guy loves girl although girl is sick or handicapped or blind...Well, I tell you...Reality bites and it really does...If ever you are wishing such kind of things to happen to you, give it up...Tues morning, I heard discussion on a radio station...will girls ever like guys shorter than them? The answer is No, which is nt surprising to hear...Given my own height, haha...no girl will ever like me unless she really stick stamps on her eyes...Why are people so shallow in thinking, sometimes I wonder...Call me lack of confidence for all u can...What makes me lack of confidence? It is this cruel society. Now actually, I am facing the prospect of growing old myself. Maybe, 安乐死 will be a good option for me.
As for my work future, all I can say is that everything looks glimmer and glimmer...sometimes, I really dunnoe where I stand in my company...Well, I cannot blame anyone but my ownself. Cannot prove my own ability and always limited by my handicapped...I refused to give in to such limitations but I do not have a choice...
For future parents, I am giving my opinion (purely my own opinion as a handicapped child)...If one day you ever found that your child might become a handicapped after born, pls do not bring them to this world. This is a cruel world and the sufferings will be immerse for your child. I myself gone through a lot...both parents and child need to be very mentally strong. I think I am hitting my limits...Very tired ler and no more strength to keep the fire burning...
posted by 安公子 at 12:29 AM
8 Comments:
Just want to tell you, I used to have good feelings for a guy shorter than me in my uni days. But he didn't have the courage to go after me. So don't believe the radio station. ^_-
Hey, everyone of us are handicapped, if you didn't know. Most of us are able to hide it behind a facade, behind a costume. But that doesn't mean it isn't there.
Learning how to overcome our handicap is something that all of us go through. You can't see my physical, mental and emotional handicap, but it's there. I am learning how to overcome it.
It's the same for you.
How to overcome it? Recognise that what we are is normal. What we perceive as weakness is actually strength. Our society that we live in is not the right basis to compare ourselves against it, because our society is made of different individuals. There's no standard to compare against. You are only as flawed, as small, as weak as your mind allows you to think.
You are in this world for a special reason. Everyone of us are. Don't belittle your own existence, but cherish it and prepare yourself for your purpose. Get ready for it.
I'll try to apply my own advise in my own life. :)
Oi! What the hell are u talking abt?!?!?!?!
Sorry for the rude words haha... haven't visited yr blog for a long time. Then today saw this post really give me the fire man. Walau come on lah, why so pessimisstic? U have gone thru so much le and what makes u think u need to stop here? There's so much things out there u can do..
Or should I say u NEED TO DO. Hey, I believe each of us have a purpose to be like that. By fulfilling that purpose, we can achieve anything. U have done part 1 le, by succeeding in living well, having financial independence etc. Now is time for part 2. U need to go beyond yr circle and reach out to others less fortunate.
Yr example can inspire sooo many people. Are u involved in community work? Are u helping out fellow disabled? Or are u jus sticking to yr circle of friends? If u expand yr circle alittle big, then can u have the ability to gain recognition, esp from the "her" in yr life.
Don't belittle yrself man. It is not impossible. But before that, do what needs to b done. Expand yr life, broading yr scope of yr life, and encompass others. I'm sure one day u will be recognized for the special element u have.
Forget all those dramas and crap. Before u achieve what I have just said, don't ever complain again!!! Wahahaahaa...
Jiayou!
Wen
Hey, Just wanna tell you, From the very first day I knew you I was inspired by your optimistic spirit and strong mind!
In my eyes you are always the friendly, lovely kianan db..db.. Days working with you are so fun and enjoyable that even months after when I see you again, all those fun moments and words are just like happened yesterday. Needless to say, you have the greatest parents who have given you not just the chance to see this world but the meaning of a beautiful life. Now that you are 24, thinking of 24 years back the extreme pain they had went through and along these 24 years the xin ku
they had experienced, I believe you are a very good son to take care of them in return now.
Yo bro, handicapped or not is not an issue. Like what Juice mention everyone is handicapped including me but what more important is to look beyond that handicapped and achieve what you have set up to achieve.
My english not very good so may not be able to write good stuff but remember who are who are not because of how we are born but rather how we choose to live in this world. ;)
put me in your position...
i WILL NEVER achieve wat u have so far...
when i first saw u... i felt quite bad abt myself... i dont ave your courage nor determination to accomplish wat you have tdy... dont talk abt being handicapped... instead you have shown me wat i have been lacking all these times... your courage and determination in the face of reality... its time i stop escaping...
i sld be the one saying "thank you"...
My friend, You're an achiever! You triumphed in life, by being alive. You blown others away by your achievements.
You're who you're now. You know you can triumph over anything, hey, you're here now.
Each of us is special and each of us are handicapped in one or more ways, some may be physical, some may be non-obvious and hidden from the surface.
Have faith and believe. You've came all the way because you know you can do it. And you did! Why stop believing now. Continue to believe in yourself.
In the society we are in, we are all "abled" differently, some of us can run very fast, so they be came a runner, some of us can talk very well, so they became a presenter. We all capitalise/focus on our strength and work on out weakness. You have to find yours!
"Differently-abled" not "Disabled"
Maybe you focus too much on you limitation, althou many in the society still gives people with phyical limitation a different look . But we are changing, people are no longer so myopic, that's why we can see mrt stations, shopping centres and everywhere improving facilities to make it a better place for everyone.
We are a part, not apart.
Question for you, will you want some one who has physcial limitation (I prefer to use "differntly-abled") to be your partner. If your ans is NO, maybe you should rethink your post. Well, I believe your is YES. Doesn't that mean there is someone out there waiting for you? You have worked hard for your "wants". Your car, your house and yours career. If its love you want, you probably have to work hard too. Maybe you should to widen your social circle, go to places, pick up a new hobby, talk to people.
We may feel "lonely" but we are not "alone"
Now that you realise your limitations and the negative points. Hope you can focus on your advantages and the positive things. It's normal to be sad, to cry, and to complain. But please remember to pick yourself up at the end of the day.
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